Taking Leadership Beyond the Obvious

We often associate leadership with an impressive title. If we’re not President or Captain, we might not consider ourselves to be leaders. But leadership doesn’t require a title.

Leadership is an attitude–a way of being–any person can express in any moment. Yes, of course we can lead in an official leadership role, like Class President; but we can make just as much of an impact from the middle or even the bottom of the pack. Who says you can’t be a leader as a center midfielder on the soccer team; or even as…a freshman!

By following these simple principles, we can be a leader in any area of our lives:

Follow Your Gut – This isn’t probably taught in most MBA programs, but it is a powerful tool in your leadership toolbox. Your gut, your wise inner voice, is incredibly useful if you pay attention and listen to it. The inner voice is often ignored if there is no hard evidence to back it up. But the inner voice is incredibly wise and is speaking up for a reason. Listen to it – it can bring you success and take you down the right path. Trust yourself and the inner voice to carry you down the road of success.

Own Your Successes and Failures – We need to look at both our successes and failures with a keen eye to recognize where we stand. Honoring the successes, no matter how big or small, gives us an opportunity to see our brilliance, as well as shows us how we can stretch even further next time. Owning our failures gives us an opportunity to acknowledge the risks we’ve taken, and what we can learn for our next adventure. The more objective we can be in this assessment of successes and failures, the easier it will be to further develop ourselves as leaders.

Ask for Support – While often leaders try to be the “Lone Ranger” by trying to get it done all on our own, we limit what can be accomplished with just one person. As a recovering “Lone Ranger,” I have found that true leaders look beyond themselves to focus on the larger goal and seek support to accomplish that goal. The more support we have, the larger the goal we can tackle. Remember to view your support team as leaders too, so they too can step up in big ways.

In any moment, whether at school, home or hanging out with your friends, you may be called to step up and lead. If you remember to trust your gut, own your successes and failures with a keen eye, and seek support with the larger goal in mind, you will have the tools to lead successfully in any situation.

New Year’s Resolutions: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

With the beginning of the year, people often make New Year's resolutions, or at least consider it. If you did make some resolutions and you are anything like me, you've probably already broken your resolutions. That is not only common, it's expected. We stick to our new year's resolutions for a couple of days, maybe a couple of weeks, but by February, we can't even remember what the resolution was.

What if you could actually have your resolutions stick? It requires taking a different look at resolutions. It takes looking at the good, the bad and even the ugly :)

The Good Stuff – Resolutions by themselves aren’t bad. They actually come from a good place, a place inside us that likes to start fresh, to start newly. That feeling shouldn’t be dismissed, but celebrated that it reminds us that we want to grow and change.

The opportunity to start fresh is important to recognize and take advantage of. When we do look at how we want to grow and change, it’s important to pay attention to see if it’s something we truly want, or what we think we “should” have. We can often get caught up wanting to change to be like someone else, instead of being our true selves. Be sure that whatever resolutions you make, it’s something that YOU really want and you stay true to yourself.

The Bad Stuff – We often make resolutions that we know we can’t keep, setting ourselves up for failure. One way that we set ourselves up for failure is by focusing on the doing, rather than on how we want to feel, successful, healthy, powerful, happy, loved, etc. We think that if we do this particular action, we will feel a particular way. For example, I have made lots of resolutions where I won’t eat chocolate so I can lose weight and feel healthy. It’s ridiculous because I know I can’t give up chocolate completely. I usually last about a week before I have a piece of chocolate in my mouth.

However, what if we flip the resolution on its head and make a resolution not about the action, but about the feeling, what we truly want. If I focus on being healthy, I have more flexibility in the actions I can take. I can eat more vegetables, drink more water, exercise or not eat chocolate. You can take little steps or big steps. You get to choose. More choice means more power. More power means more success.

The Ugly Stuff – What can make resolutions most dangerous is how we treat ourselves after we break the resolution. We can judge ourselves harshly; maybe even call or label ourselves unreliable, weak or even worse. When we make promises, like resolutions, and don’t keep them, it can be difficult not to judge ourselves. However, it is crucial to have compassion and patience when we don’t live up to our promises. Remember we are human. As humans, we make mistakes, lots of them.

When we are trying to change a habit, it’s especially challenging because the old behavior is so automatic. Even as I am writing this, I am scarfing down a chocolate, chocolate cookie, after making a resolution to be healthy. I have to forgive myself for eating the cookie and start again. If we practice patience and compassion, our resolutions will be much easier to maintain in the long run. The resolutions will stick around and become more automatic.

If you have made resolutions or goals for this year, or still considering, remember you will be more successful and much happier if you stay true to yourself, focus on your true desires and practice patience and compassion. Good Luck in 2012!

Reflecting back on 2011- Preparing for 2012

As the year comes to an end, people often reflect on what has transpired over the past year. How is my life different from 2010? It is an important question to ask and ponder. Are you getting closer to your goals and dreams? Perhaps even achieving them? Can you measure growth? . If you haven’t done this before, or you haven’t done it so thoroughly, I highly recommend starting the tradition.

When I reflect on the year, I look at the good, the bad and the ugly. It’s important to look at ALL that has transpired. If you only look at the good, then often the bad and the ugly hangs on like dead weight and baggage in the new year. It’s important to let go of any baggage accumulated from this past year – starting fresh in 2012. It’s also important to consider, if we only look at the ugly, then we miss the growth that has occurred. The good stuff is just as important as the ugly stuff.

When you reflect on the questions below, I recommend taking the time to write it down. You can be more thorough and visually see your year on paper.

The Good Stuff – What have you accomplished this year – professionally, personally, financially? What were the pleasant surprises of the year? Did you learn any lessons about yourself? About life? Celebrate this good stuff and share it with loved ones!

The Bad Stuff – What disappointments or regrets did you experience this year? What were some of the not so pleasant surprises? What mistakes did you make that you learned from? Try to bring some compassion and forgiveness to these moments, so you can let go and move on. If there are some lessons to learn from these experiences, be sure to take those with you into 2012.

The Ugly Stuff – What were the moments of 2011 that you would rather forget about altogether? The important part is that you have survived the ugly stuff. Although challenging, I invite you to bring up the memories, the feelings, and judgments, so you can let them go and move on. What’s also important in letting the ugly stuff go is finding the lesson, the gift, in these experiences. While this too can be a struggle, it helps in moving on so that they don’t linger or hold you back in the future.

Reflecting on the good, the bad, and the ugly of 2011 will give you the opportunity to celebrate all your successes, learn the important lessons, and let go of any excess baggage to make 2012 the best year ever!

Lessons from Steve Jobs

Steve JobsWhen someone as huge as Steve Jobs dies while still in his prime, it gives us pause in who was the man behind the accomplishments, behind the inventions. Steve has been compared to Edison and Einstein as the inventor of the 21st Century. We often don’t know the real story of Thomas and Albert, except what they tell us in history books. However with Jobs, with his life on the web, we have the great opportunity to uncover what made him a revolutionary, a game changer in the world of technology.

This man was truly a visionary in every sense of the word. He had many practices in his daily life that made him remarkable. He shared a few in his famous 2005 commencement speech at Stanford University. If you haven’t seen the video, it’s definitely worth a look.

Here are a just a few to consider for yourself:

1. BE A RISK TAKER

Apple coined the term “Think Different” when he came out with the first iMac in 1998. He put iconic courageous people, like Albert Einstein and Mahatma Gandhi, to remind us that being a risk taker pays off. It also definitely paid off for Apple too in revolutionizing the personal computer.

Taking Risks is an essential part of being a success, not just in business, but in life. It isn’t easy to be a risk taker, putting yourself out there for scrutiny and criticism. It takes determination, a confidence in yourself, so that others won’t sway you from taking action.

There are some people who just don’t care what others think. I so admire those people because it is human to be concerned about others’ opinions. The key is finding others who will support you no matter what, those who encourage you taking risks and achieving big dreams. I know the times when I risked big, like moving to NYC with no job, had the biggest payoffs, knowing that I had the support of family and friends.

Where are you taking risks? Where could you step up be a greater risk taker? Who can you have on your support team to cheer you on in your risks?

2. BE RESILIENT

Jobs and his company Apple are such great examples of resilience. In 1985, Jobs was fired from Apple, the company he started, but that didn’t stop him from creating what he loved. “I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me.” He joined 2 startup companies, including Pixar, where he revolutionized computer-generated animation with Toy Story.

He was later brought back to Apple in 1998 when the company had lost its vision and couldn’t compete against Microsoft and Dell. Yet Jobs didn’t lose hope. He soon produced the iMac, and Apple became the comeback kid. Now Apple is the trendsetter, making anything they put out – GOLD!

In life, you are going to have setbacks, blocks and utter failures. The setbacks exist to test you and encourage you to grow bigger, stronger, so that you can face even bigger challenges that will most definitely come your way. While it’s much easier to just give up, life isn’t as fun or fulfilling that way. You can’t have the life you want without going after it. Go out there and demand the life you deserve and be unstoppable in getting it.

Where are you not going after what you want? Where have you settled? Where you could show more resilience? What steps could you take now to achieve your goals and dreams?

3. BE YOURSELF

“Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.” Steve Jobs followed his heart in almost everything he did, even if it was unpopular because he had a vision and wouldn’t let anyone or anything get in the way of that vision. He became unstoppable in creating what he knew to be the best product. He didn’t let naysayers stop him. He stayed true to himself, his vision and his heart.

Staying true to yourself is critical to living a life of success. So much of our lives is filled with input from others, that we often forget to listen to our own inner voice. What is it that you want? Remember to listen to your inner voice and act from there. It’s YOUR life, so make sure it’s YOU living it.

Where do you stay true to yourself? Your vision? Do you let naysayers or circumstances get in the way of your vision of what you want to create in the world? Where can you choose to follow your heart?

We are all visionaries. We have a vision for our life, a vision for our world. If you follow these practices from Steve Jobs, you too can fulfill on your vision. Remember in your quest, to use Steve’s own words, “Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.”

The Power of Speaking Your Truth

After the long journey I have had to reclaim my voice and speak my truth,
I still struggle sometimes to speak my truth, but I know that it is a practice, a choice in every moment. Before I needed to fit in; I needed to belong. Now I know I have the choice, and it is very real and conscious. I continue to search for opportunities to uncover areas where I may be suppressed and I can choose self-expression. With every choice I make to express myself, my roar is reclaimed, and I seize another opportunity to speak my truth.

Deep within my soul, I know I was given the responsibility of reclaiming my voice for a divine purpose. I know I am meant to share my journey as an example for others to reclaim their voices, to reclaim their own roar. Much of my work as a life coach and motivational speaker now involves empowering women and girls to speak their truth and roar. I am constantly inspired by courageous women who allow themselves to be vulnerable enough to look at where they have been silenced. I become energized as I watch them reclaim their voices, and speak their truths. I am honored to be part of that process. A self-expressed woman is beyond strong. She is invincible.

You can read more of my story in the upcoming book – Speaking Your Truth: Courageous Stories From Inspiring Women – launching August 9th. Click here to purchase the book.

What’s a Better Answer – Yes or No?

We are taught when we are younger, ask and you shall receive. In a world where we are never enough, asking and receiving does nothing to satiate that hunger to have enough, to be enough. The grass is always greener on the other side, despite what we have achieved and received.
When we always get what we want for, we are never enough. The “Yes” from others can reinforce a lack within ourselves.

When we are told “No,” we are given a wall, a barrier. The “No” is an opportunity to question whether we want it and how much we want it. We are forced to question ourselves. The “No” is a mirror to look inward and determine what we really want.

  • Is it something we really want or something we think we should want?
  • If it is something we truly want, are we willing to go around the barrier, maybe even break through the barrier to get it?
  • Are we willing to demand what we want and do what is necessary to get it? Even if it means transforming yourself?
  • Are you willing to let go of your pride, your judgments, your perception of yourself for what you want?

All of that is behind the “No” – your growth, your opportunity to look within and know yourself.

So encourage more “No” in your life…and know yourself.